Manage Up Coaching

3 Temptations to Avoid when Managing Relationships

When I was in corporate, my relationships consistently played a pivotal role in my success.

Along the way, I found that there are three tempting (but not effective) ways to manage your relationships:

Go it alone (I still struggle with this, actually): you can only go so far because of the blind spots that you have in the way you communicate, create assumptions, or create stories about other people, places, and things that you don't perceive.

Climb over others for success: this is, unfortunately, an old-school way of thought that is still hanging around corporate in some places. This is not only not sustainable, but it also wrecks relationships.

Ignore difficult relationships and hope that they "just go away": but this, in the end, actually stifles your success because you're ignoring a huge opportunity to learn (not only about others but about yourself, too).

I believe that if we don't spend focused effort every single day on nurturing our most important relationships (at work and at home), we end up stuck in our career—complacent and bored.

And when I say "nurture" I don't mean small talk and surface level conversations. I mean deep, connected, and (gulp) vulnerable conversations. Yikes!

And if that seems scary, you're not alone. Just take a look at Brené Brown's work to learn about the power of vulnerability.

But there's hope.

When you learn to listen intuitively, ask empowering questions, and set healthy boundaries, you nurture your relationships.

And when you understand more about what you admire in others (and what triggers you), you learn more about who you are and what you value.

As you consciously create healthy relationships, you set yourself up for success.

I've even seen this translate to promotions or pay raises because of the connection, support, and advocacy from great work relationships.

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